Past Fears


My journey has taken me to many places around the world…I can close my eyes and remember when I walked the manicured grounds of Windsor Castle where daffodils were in full bloom; I breathed in the fresh air of the rugged Swiss Alps; I swam in the bluest of blues of the Mediterranean Sea off the shores of Crete; and I traveled the countryside of Romania past colorful gypsy villages.

However, my journeys have been alone. No one to walk beside me. No one with whom I can look back on these times as being shared memories. I can close my eyes and see the room that was never a part of my journey. Where darkness was brightened by candles. Where a white gown was shimmering across the dance floor, a glow matched only by the radiance on a bride’s face.

who will remind me
of the journeys in my life ~
I walk alone

P. Wanken

Shared at 1Sojournal for NaPoWriMo – Day 12.


  1. Viv said the exact words I thought of writing, then Elizabeth so soulfully added on… Oh, how I love poeming with people. This is a beautiful haibun, Paula. Your first stanza left me yearning for the places you describe. Your poetry accompanies you, and can color your memories. The haiku finishes this piece, and your journey continues. May you find all you seek.


  2. So sad, Paula, and I know the feeling. For so many years I longed for that partner and could never figure out why it didnt happen……..or why the ones that did happen did not last. It is lovely that you traveled anyway and have those memories………and you are still young…… still might happen for you, kiddo. I like what Elizabeth writes too….this lifetime, I suspect because I wanted, and felt I needed, a partner so badly, my task was to learn to be happy and all right on my own. Which I finally did. I was helped greatly by a big black dog. LOL. I can see that white dress, glimmering, in your poem.


    1. Unfortunately, at a mere handful of months shy of turning 50, I’m not feeling so hopeful. However, I do also have the joy of two fur babies that help me along through the seasons of happiness as well as those times I’m not so much so. (Two cats, Tigger & Lucy.) And…I’m glad you can “see” that dress… ❤


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