I Once Dreamed About Being A Grandma

 
I ONCE DREAMED ABOUT BEING A GRANDMA

I could see
my grandkids and me
walking through
my house, the
stories being told again
about all they see.

Their mom’s first
trophy for tennis;
their dad’s framed
cast photo
from his last night performing
on stage in college.

We would bake
cookies together
to take to
their grandpa
who was working out in the
yard, or his workshop.

I would watch
the love being shared
between gramps
and the kids,
thankful for good fortune and
loving family.

But first, I
would have needed to
fall in love.
The kind of
love that lasts forever; to
become man and wife.

Together
we’d have built a home,
started a
family.
To be a grandma, I would
have first been a mom.

I would have
watched my children grow
into young
adults, I’d
have cheered their successes and
nursed their hurts, in love.

To be a
grandma, I would have
needed to
let my kids
go out on their own to find
their own place in life.

As my years
advance, my daydreams
become mere
memories;
nightmares of being alone,
my reality.

I once dreamed  about being a grandma.

It was just a dream.

2014-05-25
P. Wanken 

Written for Creative Bloomings Prompt #156: You May Say I’m A Dreamer – this is prompt #156 of weekly prompts, which means it is the final prompt of the third year of prompts! It also means it is my 156th poem written for this series of prompts! Yes, I’ve managed to respond to every prompt offered (though not always during the week of the prompt, some were a tad late). But I’m pleased to say I’ve written to each one.

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8 comments

  1. oh heck.. that breaks my heart… it’s tough when dreams shatter and the disappointment can be overwhelming. it’s important to let go of things that turn out different than expected and try to see the beauty of life as it develops maybe different than we thought it would… i know it’s not easy though..

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    1. Thanks for your visit, Claudia…and for leaving your comment. Most days I deal with the disappointment OK, seeing the path I’ve ended up on as the one it should be. But then…there are days that it’s just more difficult. That prompt came up on one of those days. ~Paula

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  2. Wow. I relate to this. Even though I’ve married twice and had my own daughter and step-daughter, for varied reasons, I will probably never be a grandmother. But, the poem touches on the reality that we all have when our dreams aren’t fulfilled in the way we expect. SO IMPRESSIVE that you have continued to share your work at Creative Bloomings from the very start! Thank you for that, as I expect I’ve read every one! Keep on poeming!

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    1. Thank you, Patricia, for the encouragement here and at Bloomings. I’ve not written to ALL of their prompts–just their Sunday prompts. I’ve attempted a few of their “form” prompts, but not all of them. And thank you, too, for your comment on this poem. I’m always happy to know that something I’ve written has touched someone else in a way that they can relate. ❤

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    1. Thank you, as always, ViV…your love and encouragement and example in life are a blessing to me. I know so many of my poems have the sad edge to them – but I suppose poetry is where I let those feelings out that I just don’t more easily share otherwise. ❤

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  3. Hi, Paula. Great poem, and from the heart. I can relate, as even though I am married, we are not able to have children. We’ve even looked into adoption and foster care, but that didn’t work out either. My wife and I have disabilities. She is legally blind and I have bipolar, so we don’t look good on paper. One day, while I was at a Christian retreat, I felt that God spoke to me that I would never be a father, and it broke my heart. I had close to a nervous breakdown, and because I was part of the staff for the retreat, I felt the need to leave. The retreat director gave me a hard time, but I left anyway. Some people just don’t get it sometimes. I hope you find true love, at least, and that God blesses you more than you can ask or imagine, as he promises in his Word. Keep doing his will, and there will not be a day that you and He can’t handle together. In His love, Gordon

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