A DANCE WITH A DRAGON
drawing upon the abstract
her heart aches for him
drawn to him, in spite of the cacophony
the coda to her life’s score
flying free on dragon’s wings
loving—and mourning—the ethereal
exquisite, the moment they shared
so sour, the departure, as if fermented
folded up, as precise as origami
she was shelved, as a toy that lost its shine,
until music filled her shimmy
her spangling catching his eye once again
2012-04-21
P. Wanken
Written for The Sunday Whirl “Anniversary” prompt: aches, exquisite, abstract, shelved, ferment, dragon, coda, shimmy, origami, spangling, cacophony, and ethereal.
PS – a note about the process I used to write this week’s wordle: I wrote one line for each of the twelve words, in the order they were provided in the email. Whatever came to mind. And then I arranged the words in alpha order, and arranged their corresponding lines in that order. I had to change a couple pronouns, and added one word. I was amazed it actually flowed.
echoes from the silence 
Paula, I love this, it sparkles. But please, why the composite invention “shininess”? What’s wrong with “shine” – almost assonant with “again,” the simplicity so much more pleasing to the ear.
Do edit this comment out if it offends you.
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Oh yes….much better. And of course it doesn’t offend! (Long story behind “shininess” – which should stay out of my poetry for the sake of the ear! 😉 )
*hugs*
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Phew! Hugz back.
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I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
Thanks again for your input.
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beautiful
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Thank you, Len.
I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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This poem shimmers.
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Thank you, Irene. 🙂
I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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What would happen if you trimmed “in spite of the cacophony of noise” to “in spite of the cacophony”? I think the trimming would make it a more powerful line, give it more punch.
“Whirling Haiku and Senryu”
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Thank you, MMT. Done!
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I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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A touch of sadness with a hopeful ending. I like, Paula!
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Thank, Laurie – glad you liked it. I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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This is beautiful and rich and oh-so-light. I loved the last two lines, picturing music filling her ‘shimmy,’ etc. Nice use of the words.
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Thank you, Mary. I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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Fascinating. Now, I really want to try this method. Love the line where she is folded up and shelved [my word!].
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I decided to add a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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Aww..so glad it has a happy ending. Lovely imagery
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DDT: I was happy with how it ended, too. 😉 I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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Beautiful, it flows so easily!
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Thank you, Inger. I was pleased with how it ended up flowing. I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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Yes, Paula this does have a beautiful flow. Well done.
Pamela
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Thank you, Pamela. It surprised me when I was all done. 🙂 I added a “P.S.” to my post — some process notes on how I arrived at this poem.
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Ha, I came down to say lovely flow, and see it is an echo, which certainly makes it true. 🙂 Thank you for your continued commitment to The Whirl, Paula. And to writing good poetry. You rock!
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Thank you, Brenda! I have appreciated all of your support and encouragement along the way. 🙂
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How lovely this is! And I like that you detailed your process … that’s always fascinating to me … to hear how the poet got to where they arrived … esp when they arrived somewhere spectacular and you certainly did with this poem.
http://aleapingelephant.blogspot.ca/2012/04/coda-of-crows-dragons-angels-and-swans.html
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Thank you, Sharon. I’m glad I went back and added the process notes. I didn’t put them there at first, but I felt like I wanted to share with everyone how this one worked itself into a poem. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it.
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Especially like that whole final stanza. Interesting process and will try it out soon. Thanks for the notes,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
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Thank you for coming by, Elizabeth. So happy to see your name popping up again. 🙂 It was an entirely different process for me, for sure. I’m not certain I’d have tackled those words any other way! 😉 Hope you have fun giving it a try one day.
~ Paula
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Paula, I love the poem – it works so well. You made each stanza exquisitely shimmy. I have to try this. Glad you included the post script. Even though you mentioned possibly doing this, I’m not sure I would have noticed.
Richard
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Thanks, Richard. I was surprised, myself, at how the lines fit together in spite of my process! 😉
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fascinated by the process notes, amazing what can come out. Those spangles will catch the eye. 🙂
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Mark – I hadn’t included the notes at first, so I’m glad you found them fascinating. Yes, I was amazed at how it fit together. Because that list of words!? Oy!
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Wordles are always a challenge, but I think this one must have been very hard to write. The list of words is rather unusual. I’d probably have given up. Yet, you made it look so easy.
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This list was incredibly challenging. That’s why I ended up using the method I did. Thank you for your kind words! ❤
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