FINDING PEACE
entranced
I watched them
their murmurs
cumbersome
reluctant was she
to answer
her hands
holding a map
his eyes strayed
to where I hid
pelts, we had
his senses, we needed
dense smoke
cemented the deal
2012-02-26
P. Wanken
Written for The Sunday Whirl #45, to use the following words: pelt, cumbersome, smoke, reluctant, entranced, dense, map, answer, stray, murmur, senses, and cement.
echoes from the silence 
I like it, Paula. I like it a lot. This is a great exploration of early campfire deals. Makes me wish for a simpler time.
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Thank you, Brenda. As DDT pointed out, such deals were not always so peaceful. Simpler, maybe, but not always with the result that was wanted. I opted for a happier ending. š
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Paula- Your wordles never cease to amaze me.
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Thanks, Laurie, for the unending encouragement. Sooo greatly appreciated.
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Wouldn’t it have been something if it had always been such a peaceful deal.
Lovely capture of a little bit of early American history
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Thanks, DDT. Yes — I believe there were peaceful deals made back then, but not nearly enough!
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Paula, your economy of words is so good here. I felt the reluctance and the hiding. I love that last stanza, great use of “cemented”.
Richard
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Thanks, Richard! I was so tempted to go the opposite direction and write “flash fiction!” š It was a great exercise in restraint — without leaving out too much. I’m glad you felt the reluctance/hiding. I’m not sure if it’s because of the structure, but I had it without the blank lines — and then added them. I felt it conveyed the “space/distance” between the woman and the trader. Anyway…thanks for the feedback. š
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I love ‘dense smoke cemented the deal.’ I can almost smell the campfire.
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Thanks, Mary…I appreciate that feedback. š
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I so agree with Laurie here Paula – your wordles are wonders … such economical use of the words and they’re woven wonderfully well.
http://aleapingelephant.blogspot.com/2012/02/last-wolf.html
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Thank you so much, Sharon. I appreciate your kind words.
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Your brief story tells volumes. I on the other hand filled a page with volumes to tell a short story.
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Jules, thanks for stopping by. š I loved your story!
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